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Post by Logo (The Horrorshow Freak) on Mar 6, 2014 6:04:17 GMT
Why is Peter Murphy so goddamn amazing? It's Peter motherfucking Murphey.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:05:49 GMT
Why is Peter Murphy so goddamn amazing? Magic?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:11:52 GMT
Why are you asking yourself a question?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:12:02 GMT
Why are you asking yourself a question? Why not?
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Post by slappy on Mar 6, 2014 6:13:12 GMT
What do you want to be asked?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:13:38 GMT
What do you want to be asked? Whatever you want to ask.
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Post by slappy on Mar 6, 2014 6:14:09 GMT
Most embarrassing moment?
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Post by (s)aint on Mar 6, 2014 6:15:11 GMT
Why is your son two years old?
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Post by Logo (The Horrorshow Freak) on Mar 6, 2014 6:16:03 GMT
Why is your son two years old? Because him and his wife had sex almost 3 years ago (depending on his sons birthday)
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:17:16 GMT
Most embarrassing moment? I don't really get embarrassed, but the best story would have to be... My wife and I went out to lunch with my family. Everyone from my Dad's side was there--My dad and his wife, my uncle and his, my grandparents, my brother and his wife, and even my cousin who rarely comes to these things. The meal was fine and awkward, as most family get-together a tend to be. We all spent our time talking to our favorite person at the table and generally ignoring everyone else so as not to have to hear about my grandfather's latest prostrate problems or how my uncle's wife was attempting to get off her medication again or how she hits a pillow with a tennis racket screaming "Mommy!" because that's what her therapist told her to do. When he's there, I usually talk to my cousin about music, as we're both musicians, and that's what I did this time. After an excruciatingly long and par-for-the-course embarrassing meal time, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. The check was coming, so everyone was wrapping up anyway. I went to a urinal, which is somewhat uncharacteristic of me, but the bathroom was empty. That's when it hit me, a bubble in my stomach that needed to be released. So, I pushed out a fart. Only, it wasn't just a fart. I did my best impression of a crab, scuttling to the nearest stall, trying not to make an even bigger mess than I already had. I cleaned up as best I could, but since restaurant bathrooms rarely come with a house-keeping service or, at the very least, a tub of water and a washing board, I had to settle on making a butt implant out of wads of toilet paper to keep the remnants off of me. We said our goodbyes, mine quicker than normal, and we all shuffled off to our respective cars. I will tell you this: The hour drive home was one of the longest moments of my life. My wife didn't understand why I insisted on keeping my window down on the interstate.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:17:37 GMT
Why is your son two years old? Because pulling out doesn't work.
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Post by Logo (The Horrorshow Freak) on Mar 6, 2014 6:19:15 GMT
Most embarrassing moment? I don't really get embarrassed, but the best story would have to be... My wife and I went out to lunch with my family. Everyone from my Dad's side was there--My dad and his wife, my uncle and his, my grandparents, my brother and his wife, and even my cousin who rarely comes to these things. The meal was fine and awkward, as most family get-together a tend to be. We all spent our time talking to our favorite person at the table and generally ignoring everyone else so as not to have to hear about my grandfather's latest prostrate problems or how my uncle's wife was attempting to get off her medication again or how she hits a pillow with a tennis racket screaming "Mommy!" because that's what her therapist told her to do. When he's there, I usually talk to my cousin about music, as we're both musicians, and that's what I did this time. After an excruciatingly long and par-for-the-course embarrassing meal time, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. The check was coming, so everyone was wrapping up anyway. I went to a urinal, which is somewhat uncharacteristic of me, but the bathroom was empty. That's when it hit me, a bubble in my stomach that needed to be released. So, I pushed out a fart. Only, it wasn't just a fart. I did my best impression of a crab, scuttling to the nearest stall, trying not to make an even bigger mess than I already had. I cleaned up as best I could, but since restaurant bathrooms rarely come with a house-keeping service or, at the very least, a tub of water and a washing board, I had to settle on making a butt implant out of wads of toilet paper to keep the remnants off of me. We said our goodbyes, mine quicker than normal, and we all shuffled off to our respective cars. I will tell you this: The hour drive home was one of the longest moments of my life. My wife didn't understand why I insisted on keeping my window down on the interstate. I love this. Can I have this story forever?
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Post by RandomDuck on Mar 6, 2014 6:19:40 GMT
Why is your son two years old? Because pulling out doesn't work. Nice.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:19:49 GMT
I don't really get embarrassed, but the best story would have to be... My wife and I went out to lunch with my family. Everyone from my Dad's side was there--My dad and his wife, my uncle and his, my grandparents, my brother and his wife, and even my cousin who rarely comes to these things. The meal was fine and awkward, as most family get-together a tend to be. We all spent our time talking to our favorite person at the table and generally ignoring everyone else so as not to have to hear about my grandfather's latest prostrate problems or how my uncle's wife was attempting to get off her medication again or how she hits a pillow with a tennis racket screaming "Mommy!" because that's what her therapist told her to do. When he's there, I usually talk to my cousin about music, as we're both musicians, and that's what I did this time. After an excruciatingly long and par-for-the-course embarrassing meal time, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. The check was coming, so everyone was wrapping up anyway. I went to a urinal, which is somewhat uncharacteristic of me, but the bathroom was empty. That's when it hit me, a bubble in my stomach that needed to be released. So, I pushed out a fart. Only, it wasn't just a fart. I did my best impression of a crab, scuttling to the nearest stall, trying not to make an even bigger mess than I already had. I cleaned up as best I could, but since restaurant bathrooms rarely come with a house-keeping service or, at the very least, a tub of water and a washing board, I had to settle on making a butt implant out of wads of toilet paper to keep the remnants off of me. We said our goodbyes, mine quicker than normal, and we all shuffled off to our respective cars. I will tell you this: The hour drive home was one of the longest moments of my life. My wife didn't understand why I insisted on keeping my window down on the interstate. I love this. Can I have this story forever? Copy, paste, save.
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Post by Logo (The Horrorshow Freak) on Mar 6, 2014 6:22:36 GMT
Thank you
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Post by slappy on Mar 6, 2014 6:22:39 GMT
Why is your son two years old? Because pulling out doesn't work. Works for me.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:23:12 GMT
Because pulling out doesn't work. Works for me. Oh God... I can't stop laughing.
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Post by (s)aint on Mar 6, 2014 6:23:45 GMT
Why do you keep putting my short story off?
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Post by Logo (The Horrorshow Freak) on Mar 6, 2014 6:24:57 GMT
Why do you keep putting my short story off? I told you. He's a dick.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 6:25:31 GMT
Why do you keep putting my short story off? Because it's not short and will take me about five hours to critique. But I'm going to read it once I can put Aiden to bed.
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