Post by Logo (The Horrorshow Freak) on Jul 20, 2014 17:54:07 GMT
No one was there.
Again.
All alone.
Again.
Went through the motions before, and now I almost put that bullet through my brain,
Again.
This happened just a week ago actually. One of my friends that I have talked to forever started not replying to me. Confused, I texted her as often as I could, and would hardly get any response.
Sunday I was feeling so low and distraught and depressed and oppressed and every other word that rhymes with "depressed", and I went to my sanctuary, the one place I knew I would get help. My friend.
Of course, we texted for about 2 minutes and I told her I couldn't do this anymore, and her response? Blank. Nothing. Zip. Nada.
No one was there.
Again.
All alone.
Again.
The feeling of lost hope.
Again.
Some may not remember but I have tried this before. I had put a gun to my head and ended up pushing my hand away before I could pull the trigger. This time was much closer, as I actually pulled the trigger, multiple times, but my nerves and my feeling of dread of never seeing another day stopped me and I ended up shooting the rounds into the nearest tree. Talk about some sad and depressing stuff.
As I sit here writing this occurrence I will not forget I was alone twice. I will not forget I had no one there twice. I will not forget that no one cared twice, and upon my final hours of this earth in many years from now when I decide to pull that trigger, it will be because no one was there.
Again.
All alone.
Again.
Went through the motions before, and now I almost put that bullet through my brain,
Again.
This happened just a week ago actually. One of my friends that I have talked to forever started not replying to me. Confused, I texted her as often as I could, and would hardly get any response.
Sunday I was feeling so low and distraught and depressed and oppressed and every other word that rhymes with "depressed", and I went to my sanctuary, the one place I knew I would get help. My friend.
Of course, we texted for about 2 minutes and I told her I couldn't do this anymore, and her response? Blank. Nothing. Zip. Nada.
No one was there.
Again.
All alone.
Again.
The feeling of lost hope.
Again.
Some may not remember but I have tried this before. I had put a gun to my head and ended up pushing my hand away before I could pull the trigger. This time was much closer, as I actually pulled the trigger, multiple times, but my nerves and my feeling of dread of never seeing another day stopped me and I ended up shooting the rounds into the nearest tree. Talk about some sad and depressing stuff.
As I sit here writing this occurrence I will not forget I was alone twice. I will not forget I had no one there twice. I will not forget that no one cared twice, and upon my final hours of this earth in many years from now when I decide to pull that trigger, it will be because no one was there.
