Post by Logo (The Horrorshow Freak) on Aug 16, 2014 0:38:19 GMT
For the longest time I couldn't feel anything. No cut nor burn, no rip nor pull, no stab nor feeling, could wake me up from whatever trance of life I was walking. For the longest time I hid my feelings and insecurities from you as well as everyone. I fooled you and everyone by plastering smiles or faking the feeling of hurt or pain when I couldn't feel at all. Now, I can see clearly. I have been to the lake of fire and visited the skies of blue, I have been down every dirt road imaginable all while going every mile of every Interstate. I have scratched and clawed my way through this life, at times living on bread crumbs or drops of water, I have dined in the finest of restaurants and have tasted the most high priced wine, and yet it was all for naught. For the longest time I couldn't remember what a real smile felt like on my face. No matter how hard I tried, or how many times I listened to the funniest jokes, I couldn't SMILE. I could laugh all day but a smile would never escape from my inner self. I've watched my blood fill a bucket and watched the blood go to water as another tear fell off my face. I've seen everything short of a miracle, and, I can't explain it, but I now finally have rest and comfort. I'll never smile again. Sure when I'm 10 years old and make those farting sounds with my arm I would smile in laughter, or after praise from a peer or mentor after completing a task could make me smile in delight, but with all the things I have seen I will never smile again. I will never feel confident or safe again. Who could in a life with such poverty as this? Who could in a life with all the false prophets telling you that life is perfect or that it will get better, when they know it won't. They never battled depression or even felt the slightest bit of pain as I (as well as many others) have. Nevermore will I eat of the finest quality as it is of muck and rubbish fed to the wealthy so they can flaunt their money around and exclaim they have power when they really don't. To eat of such garbage is to say you live a shell of a life that has been so warped by the media that you are so perfect. I have finally awoken and have finally realized I'll never smile nor laugh like I used to. It'll always have a glimmer of false hope and broken pride. I'll never be the leading lion but instead be one that gets what is left on the bones. I have realized in this life there isn't a happy ending anymore.